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Thursday, January 27, 2011

No Football League? Ten Reasons Why Players and Owners must strike a New Collective Barganing Agreement

As labor talks in the National Football League continue to stall, the possibility of a work stoppage in professional football becomes oh so close to reality.  So close, in fact, that, should a new collective barganing agreement(CBA) not be reached, the NFL will be known as the 'No Football League' in 2011.  And, while college football will continue to provide must see TV on Saturdays in the fall,  the reality of a ' No Football League' just doesn't sit well with me.  So, without further ado, here are my top ten reasons for why the NFL must avoid a lockout in 2011(in the style of David Letterman):

10. The Cleveland Browns will have to wait until next year, AGAIN (sigh).

9. Chad Ochocinco (or Johnson, or Whatever he's calling himself these days) and Terrell Owens, bored out of their minds, come up with a new reality show called 'The Crying Game', airing on VH1, and it becomes the Wost Televison Show.  Ever

8. Roger Goodell, sick of trying to live off the one dollar salary he self imposed on himself because a new cba couldn't be reached, goes on a nationwide tour aimed at fundraising for NFL owners.  Fundraisers are open to the public, but things get out of hand when Goodell fines 'Joe the Plumber' for excessive celebration.

7. Drew Rosenhaus' wife gets tired of hearing "Next Question, Please" every time she asks her husband how his day was.

6.  Mel Kiper will have to get a real job for the first time since 1982.

5. Ray Lewis will blame the lockout on the refs.  He will also be linked to a murder in the greater Baltimore area, but the charges will be dropped because witnesses refuse to testify.  Lewis will bame the refs for getting him into that mess, too.

4.  People still get tired of hearing that Tom Brady is the best quarterback to ever play the game, and also that Bill Belichick is the best coach in the game.

3. Coors Light runs football themed commercials during reruns of CSI on Sundays in the fall.  No one watches the commercials.

2. Jay Cutler will not only miss all of the 2011 season due to injury, but when play does resume in 2012, he will sit out the first few games as well, citing same injury.  After much debate it will be agreed that Cutler is a wuss.

And....the number one reason the NFL must avoid  a lockout in 2011:

No football means more baseball (ugh!)

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